It's been a while Internet and anyone who might actually read this, and believe it or not, I'm back. This weekend stared my 4th season with a break out 60 point lead. #sorry #imNotSorry
Last season, I won my league and all of the honor and gloating that comes along with being a champion. This year, I'm here to try again for Hufflepuffs and female fantasy football players alike!
I have never been a consistent blogger but despite playing for three seasons I have discovered there is still so much I don't know about fantasy football and I feel like this would be a good time to get back into the swing for things.
For those of you who might be curious I am still with my Peyton Manning obsessed boyfriend. He is taking the Manning retirement surprisingly well, given the fact that he still manages to bring Peyton up at least once a week in conversation.
We bought tickets to go to the Lions vs. the Colts home opener yesterday, which was a game indeed.
Being from Detroit but a Colts fan, it was a conflicted game for me. I wish the Colts would have played a stronger first quarter but I think the Lions deserved the win with their consistent performance. However, Detroit fans, y'all, come on! This is why we have a terrible reputation!!!
I witnessed a man in a Lions shirt, kick an older man who was walking away and wearing a colts shirt in the ass and almost knock him down. I was flabbergasted that adults would act this way. The fight almost broke out in front of me. I had had enough beers to want to break up the fight but, with how women tend to get beaten up around football, I stayed to myself.
It was good to see Luck back on the field. I followed him in the off-season with the new Andrew Luck Book Club, which if you haven't checked it out, is amazing. I'll be posting about the book club later this season, as well as a summary of my 2015/2016 season win. So look out for more posts this season, I swear I'm going to stop sucking at posting.
Monday, September 12, 2016
Monday, September 8, 2014
football culture: Richie Incognito and Ray Rice
It surprises a lot of people when they hear about how much I like football now. When I was younger, I hated a lot about football.
Or at least I thought I hated football, what I hated was football culture. I was raised with the idea that young men who play football are rude, sexist, uneducated and that football fans weren't too different.
My freshman year of high school the Freshman quarterback was in my English class. He was entitled and selfish. His mother worked for the schools so he never got punished for acting out. One day in English class he called me a dyke. I was a hot headed teen and we almost came to blows. He was sent to the office and nothing happened to him. The whole semester he said shitty things to me and he was just sent to his mom's office. I am smarter now. I work in education. If I would have known now what I knew then, I could have filed a lawsuit against my high school for not taking any actions to curb his douchey behavior.
However, as a freshman, that is when I learned that what you do and who you know gets you everywhere in life. He went on to be the JV QB, and the Varsity QB, but he never stopped being an asshole.
To this day, I bet he is an asshole.
~~~
I wasn't really shown differently in graduate school either. Not because of my cohort, but because of everyone else I knew who watched football. During graduate school, a lot of very smart people talking football was interesting. However I couldn't participate.
I decided to start doing Fantasy Football and I had so much fun last season. I went to my first came with The Boyfriend on his birthday. I worked with my Coach so we could talk fantasy and strategies and it was fun. It was fun watching football with Mr. Anderson.
It was SO FUN! Fantasy gives you something extra, you don't have to know a ton about the different teams but you always have someone to root for.
These men are all wonderful people. Kind, fun, good friends. They all respect women and value diversity in people. I felt that I was proven wrong about football culture.
Then the season ended and the shit hit the Fan.
It started with Richie Incognito.
Just a little background really quick.
He was drafted in 2005 by the St. Louis Rams was there until 2009 when he played with the Buffalo Bills. He was there for one season and then started playing with the Dolphins in 2010 where he played until 2013.
His college record for douchebagger isn't short. Short temper, spitting on other players, picking fights. He got put in anger management classes in college. However he was still getting recognition for being a "great" football player. He was a First-Team Freshman All-American and was rewarded first-team All-Big 12 selection.
He got in a fight at a college party and earned 3 counts of assault. He was finally suspended from Nebraska because he got in a fight in the locker room.He went to the University of Oregon but was dismissed because he had not met the conditions set out for him to play at Oregon (he was supposed to take anger management classes).
Incognito is known for playing dirty on the field and obviously being a dick off the field.
in 2012 he sexually harassed a volunteer at a golf outing. Read More here
Big surprise, he didn't apologize and nothing happened.
Chances are nothing would have continued to happen expect he then got in trouble for harassing a fellow player, Jonathon Martin.
Now, I read the Wells Report. Yes I actually read the whole report the day it came out and it was pretty messed up. You can read it too here but only if you really want to be disappointed in men. He says some really terrible things about Martin's sister and mother. It's 144 pages of a sad man being a dick and having his behavior rewarded.
Now this is an edited transcript of one of the voicemails Incognito left Martin.
"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."
Incognito was suspended for 3 months. Now he is a free agent and most teams would be smart enough to not touch him with a 10 foot pole, let alone let him in their locker room.
Then came Ray Rice.
Worst thing is I drafted Ray Rice last year! He was one of my first picks. EDIT: I removed the video from my post. After reading The Revictimizing of Janay Rice it felt like the right thing to do
I think the absolute worst thing about this video is how he stands in the elevator after her face smashes into the railing. He just stands there. She is laying on the ground, her shoe has been knocked off and he stands there.
EDIT:The absolute worst thing about this video is that after he drags her out of the elevator and she comes to, she sits in the doorway and sobs. She sits there, with no shoes on and weeps. He stands away from her and you can tell by his hands that he is frustrated that she is carrying on. Her head just met his fist and the it met a metal wall. Towards the end of the video someone is rubbing her shoulder and comforting her, but it isn't Rice.
Here is a story for you. The Boyfriend accidentally elbowed me in the face once. The boyfriend isn't a small man either, he is 6'5" and quite strong. I thought my nose was broken. Pain explored through my face, snot dripped from my nose and I though it was blood. He was SO SORRY. He apologized and made sure I was okay. He took care of me.
The thing is, with The Boyfriend it was an accident. Rice, a professional football player, purposefully lays his fiance out. He spit in her face and punches her.
When the pictures of him dragging his girlfriend out of the elevator came out in the off season I was furious. He got a 2 game suspension for his assault charges. The NFL came back and realizing they were too light on domestic violence issues set a new punishment for domestic assault charges, which is now a 6 game suspension. source
Then TMZ leaked that video and as of today Ray Rice was was released from the Ravens. On the NFL reddit, people were speculating who would sign Ray Rice next. Then the NFL officially suspended Ray Rice indefinitely. If a team wants to sign Ray Rice, they have to get express permission from the Commissioner.
Now there is a lot of talk about how the Commissioner Roger Goodell didn't handle this right. Now there is debate happening on when he originally saw the video. There is debate how the justice system didn't hold up their end of their deal. That Rice shouldn't have been given such a light sentence, and this is assuming that the the judges saw the elevator video.
~~~
So now, as a football fan, I feel conflicted.
Incognito reminds me of that asshole QB from my high school who made my English class hell. Who called me a dyke and was allowed to be an asshole because of who he was. Rice, who is literally a month and a half younger then me, beats the shit out of his soon-to-be wife. I wonder "How can I support an institution like the NFL?"I literally just spent $250 on Colts tickets for next Monday.
Then coach Harbaugh, says that he hopes they (Rice and his wife Janay) can get through it. WHAT THE FUCK MAN! She needs to get out. They don't need to work it out. HE needs help. She needs support, she needs to know it's okay to leave. Abuse survivors stay with their abusers because they are convinced that is what they deserve. They tell themselves things will get better, that if they do x,y and z their partner will be good to them. I am hoping she gets out. Rice just had the carpet pulled out from him, who's to say he won't hit her again. Now that his livelihood is gone, where is he going to channel is anger? He couldn't get through an off season without hitting his now-wife, what about now when there is no return?
Of course the person we weren't hearing from was Janay Rice, Ray Rice's wife. She made a statement via Instagram.
"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But you have to accept the fact that reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media and unwanted [opinions] from the public has cause my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow and show the world what real love is! Ravens nation we love you!"
I am feeling very conflicted about many things. Actors and sport players are public figures. This is difficult for many people. I think Janay is completely validated in her feelings. She didn't give her consent to have that video aired. Her husband has become a public figure of an abuser, and she, the victim. It's hard to talk about because on one side, the public needs to discuss this situation. Ray Rice is a famous football player. Many people looked up to him. Ray Rice, in a sense belongs to the public. On the other side, a woman deserves her privacy especially as she starts to work through her situation.
~~~
I thought seriously about giving up football. Especially with all the Incognito stuff, which really rang home for me.
However, then I remember my friends Mr. Anderson and Coach, men who like football, who are good people and respect women. The Boyfriend, who grew up watching football but is one of the most level headed men I have ever met. I think about the parent's who are talking to their children about how it wrong to hit people off the field and that it's always wrong to use your fists in anger.
I hope that bystander intervention happens more often because of this. I hope people see that bullying doesn't have to happen in the locker room. That is doesn't make you tough to pick on someone else.
I think I hope most of all that football doesn't let me down.
Or at least I thought I hated football, what I hated was football culture. I was raised with the idea that young men who play football are rude, sexist, uneducated and that football fans weren't too different.
My freshman year of high school the Freshman quarterback was in my English class. He was entitled and selfish. His mother worked for the schools so he never got punished for acting out. One day in English class he called me a dyke. I was a hot headed teen and we almost came to blows. He was sent to the office and nothing happened to him. The whole semester he said shitty things to me and he was just sent to his mom's office. I am smarter now. I work in education. If I would have known now what I knew then, I could have filed a lawsuit against my high school for not taking any actions to curb his douchey behavior.
However, as a freshman, that is when I learned that what you do and who you know gets you everywhere in life. He went on to be the JV QB, and the Varsity QB, but he never stopped being an asshole.
To this day, I bet he is an asshole.
~~~
I wasn't really shown differently in graduate school either. Not because of my cohort, but because of everyone else I knew who watched football. During graduate school, a lot of very smart people talking football was interesting. However I couldn't participate.
I decided to start doing Fantasy Football and I had so much fun last season. I went to my first came with The Boyfriend on his birthday. I worked with my Coach so we could talk fantasy and strategies and it was fun. It was fun watching football with Mr. Anderson.
It was SO FUN! Fantasy gives you something extra, you don't have to know a ton about the different teams but you always have someone to root for.
These men are all wonderful people. Kind, fun, good friends. They all respect women and value diversity in people. I felt that I was proven wrong about football culture.
Then the season ended and the shit hit the Fan.
It started with Richie Incognito.
Just a little background really quick.
He was drafted in 2005 by the St. Louis Rams was there until 2009 when he played with the Buffalo Bills. He was there for one season and then started playing with the Dolphins in 2010 where he played until 2013.
His college record for douchebagger isn't short. Short temper, spitting on other players, picking fights. He got put in anger management classes in college. However he was still getting recognition for being a "great" football player. He was a First-Team Freshman All-American and was rewarded first-team All-Big 12 selection.
He got in a fight at a college party and earned 3 counts of assault. He was finally suspended from Nebraska because he got in a fight in the locker room.He went to the University of Oregon but was dismissed because he had not met the conditions set out for him to play at Oregon (he was supposed to take anger management classes).
Incognito is known for playing dirty on the field and obviously being a dick off the field.
in 2012 he sexually harassed a volunteer at a golf outing. Read More here
Big surprise, he didn't apologize and nothing happened.
Chances are nothing would have continued to happen expect he then got in trouble for harassing a fellow player, Jonathon Martin.
Now, I read the Wells Report. Yes I actually read the whole report the day it came out and it was pretty messed up. You can read it too here but only if you really want to be disappointed in men. He says some really terrible things about Martin's sister and mother. It's 144 pages of a sad man being a dick and having his behavior rewarded.
Now this is an edited transcript of one of the voicemails Incognito left Martin.
"Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of s---. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s--- in your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your f---ing mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F--- you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."
Incognito was suspended for 3 months. Now he is a free agent and most teams would be smart enough to not touch him with a 10 foot pole, let alone let him in their locker room.
Then came Ray Rice.
Worst thing is I drafted Ray Rice last year! He was one of my first picks. EDIT: I removed the video from my post. After reading The Revictimizing of Janay Rice it felt like the right thing to do
I think the absolute worst thing about this video is how he stands in the elevator after her face smashes into the railing. He just stands there. She is laying on the ground, her shoe has been knocked off and he stands there.
EDIT:The absolute worst thing about this video is that after he drags her out of the elevator and she comes to, she sits in the doorway and sobs. She sits there, with no shoes on and weeps. He stands away from her and you can tell by his hands that he is frustrated that she is carrying on. Her head just met his fist and the it met a metal wall. Towards the end of the video someone is rubbing her shoulder and comforting her, but it isn't Rice.
Here is a story for you. The Boyfriend accidentally elbowed me in the face once. The boyfriend isn't a small man either, he is 6'5" and quite strong. I thought my nose was broken. Pain explored through my face, snot dripped from my nose and I though it was blood. He was SO SORRY. He apologized and made sure I was okay. He took care of me.
The thing is, with The Boyfriend it was an accident. Rice, a professional football player, purposefully lays his fiance out. He spit in her face and punches her.
When the pictures of him dragging his girlfriend out of the elevator came out in the off season I was furious. He got a 2 game suspension for his assault charges. The NFL came back and realizing they were too light on domestic violence issues set a new punishment for domestic assault charges, which is now a 6 game suspension. source
Then TMZ leaked that video and as of today Ray Rice was was released from the Ravens. On the NFL reddit, people were speculating who would sign Ray Rice next. Then the NFL officially suspended Ray Rice indefinitely. If a team wants to sign Ray Rice, they have to get express permission from the Commissioner.
Now there is a lot of talk about how the Commissioner Roger Goodell didn't handle this right. Now there is debate happening on when he originally saw the video. There is debate how the justice system didn't hold up their end of their deal. That Rice shouldn't have been given such a light sentence, and this is assuming that the the judges saw the elevator video.
~~~
So now, as a football fan, I feel conflicted.
Incognito reminds me of that asshole QB from my high school who made my English class hell. Who called me a dyke and was allowed to be an asshole because of who he was. Rice, who is literally a month and a half younger then me, beats the shit out of his soon-to-be wife. I wonder "How can I support an institution like the NFL?"I literally just spent $250 on Colts tickets for next Monday.
Then coach Harbaugh, says that he hopes they (Rice and his wife Janay) can get through it. WHAT THE FUCK MAN! She needs to get out. They don't need to work it out. HE needs help. She needs support, she needs to know it's okay to leave. Abuse survivors stay with their abusers because they are convinced that is what they deserve. They tell themselves things will get better, that if they do x,y and z their partner will be good to them. I am hoping she gets out. Rice just had the carpet pulled out from him, who's to say he won't hit her again. Now that his livelihood is gone, where is he going to channel is anger? He couldn't get through an off season without hitting his now-wife, what about now when there is no return?
Of course the person we weren't hearing from was Janay Rice, Ray Rice's wife. She made a statement via Instagram.
"I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But you have to accept the fact that reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that the media and unwanted [opinions] from the public has cause my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow and show the world what real love is! Ravens nation we love you!"
I am feeling very conflicted about many things. Actors and sport players are public figures. This is difficult for many people. I think Janay is completely validated in her feelings. She didn't give her consent to have that video aired. Her husband has become a public figure of an abuser, and she, the victim. It's hard to talk about because on one side, the public needs to discuss this situation. Ray Rice is a famous football player. Many people looked up to him. Ray Rice, in a sense belongs to the public. On the other side, a woman deserves her privacy especially as she starts to work through her situation.
~~~
I thought seriously about giving up football. Especially with all the Incognito stuff, which really rang home for me.
However, then I remember my friends Mr. Anderson and Coach, men who like football, who are good people and respect women. The Boyfriend, who grew up watching football but is one of the most level headed men I have ever met. I think about the parent's who are talking to their children about how it wrong to hit people off the field and that it's always wrong to use your fists in anger.
I hope that bystander intervention happens more often because of this. I hope people see that bullying doesn't have to happen in the locker room. That is doesn't make you tough to pick on someone else.
I think I hope most of all that football doesn't let me down.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
First Sunday, the holy Sunday
Today I am starting Andrew Luck in my BB league over my backup Jay Cutler.
Andrew is ranked higher in Fantasy point then Jay Cutler but the Colts play the Broncos tonight at 8:30.
And for those of you who don't know, the Broncos mean - Peyton Manning.
There is so much love in Indiana for both the Colts (our home team) and the Broncos (Peyton Manning's new team). If you ask anyone in Indiana, they will tell you that Peyton made Football good at home.
Manning played 14 seasons with the Colts. He took them to the Superbowl twice and they won once and there are many division champions in there too.
In Indiana, Manning is a football god.
Last year in his first game of the season Manning through 7 touchdowns (this is fantasy football gold, actually this is just plan FOOTBALL gold.)
Andrew Luck threw 2 in his first game last year.
However when the Broncos played the Colts last season, the Colts won on their home field. It was an overall emotional affair for Indianapolis since the city never really got the chance to say goodbye to Peyton Manning.
No one expected the Colts to win, but they did.
Tonight they play the Broncos in Denver.
So we shall see if starting Luck over Cutler who is predicted to put up 21 points today, just like Andrew Luck. Yet the Bears are playing the Buffalo Bills tonight.
Well no use worrying. It's time to play.
Andrew is ranked higher in Fantasy point then Jay Cutler but the Colts play the Broncos tonight at 8:30.
And for those of you who don't know, the Broncos mean - Peyton Manning.
There is so much love in Indiana for both the Colts (our home team) and the Broncos (Peyton Manning's new team). If you ask anyone in Indiana, they will tell you that Peyton made Football good at home.
Manning played 14 seasons with the Colts. He took them to the Superbowl twice and they won once and there are many division champions in there too.
In Indiana, Manning is a football god.
Last year in his first game of the season Manning through 7 touchdowns (this is fantasy football gold, actually this is just plan FOOTBALL gold.)
Andrew Luck threw 2 in his first game last year.
However when the Broncos played the Colts last season, the Colts won on their home field. It was an overall emotional affair for Indianapolis since the city never really got the chance to say goodbye to Peyton Manning.
No one expected the Colts to win, but they did.
Tonight they play the Broncos in Denver.
So we shall see if starting Luck over Cutler who is predicted to put up 21 points today, just like Andrew Luck. Yet the Bears are playing the Buffalo Bills tonight.
Well no use worrying. It's time to play.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
New Season
Today, it was calm on campus. Students walked about and I sat in my office looking out my window. I knew. I knew the time had come. In my heart, I felt that football season was finally upon us.
The occasional football jersey in the crowd was an unspoken sign from friend to foe. My team will destroy your team. Eyes met, smirks were exchanged.
The occasional football jersey in the crowd was an unspoken sign from friend to foe. My team will destroy your team. Eyes met, smirks were exchanged.
Today starts the season.
The season in which I will WIN
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Week 7 - CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT THE COLTS??!?!?!
Okay, seriously.
Week 7 oh my precious baby.
I thought about many titles for this week. Such a "Zen in the Art of Fantasy Football", or "Week 7, eh." or "The week I lost to the bottom ranking team in the league" however none of these things turned out to be true.
Because THE COLTS ARE AMAZING.
So, I started the week off in a pretty "eh, football" kind of mood. I didn't have anyone playing Thursday night. I worked in the colt outside Friday and in the rain on Saturday and so when Sunday came around I was just not into anything. Because the weather sucked all weekend until Sunday I spent all day catching up on the work I couldn't do in the rain.
Now the big news a work is that B-Rad, my bro and FF coach broke his foot this week. So he worked inside at the desk (watching and updating me about the games).
My defense was freaking heartbreaking. Cincinatti, who has been awesome for me, typically scores between 7-16 points for me, scored 2. 2 points and they still won against Detroit (sorry friends!)
My wide receivers under preformed and running back under preformed and I was worried. I had 3 players playing Sunday night while Mr. Anderson had 2 playing Monday night.
Then it was like the heavens opened up, and the Colts played an amazing game! If you haven't heard (and if you haven't heard you are not a football fan, and that's okay!) but they beat The Broncos.
You might be thinking okay, one team about horses beat another team about horse and historically I would have agreed with you. However the Broncos Quarterback is Peyton Manning, who used to be the Colts quarterback.
I made a post earlier this year about Peyton Manning being the Harry Potter of the football world. He is a pretty big deal and the Colts let him go a few years ago. The Colts letting Manning go is this big deal in Indiana. He had neck surgery and had to sit out all of the 2011 season. In reality the Colts were gonna have to pay something close to 90 Million dollars to keep Manning on the team for the next 5 years. Yeah that's a lot of money and at the time he was still recovering. So the logical decision was to let Peyton Manning go. So Indiana loses there shit, might I add.
So this game on Sunday was a pretty big deal because the Colts took it as a moment to welcome him back and thank him for all the years he was the QB.
Also EVERYONE thought the Colts were going to lose. B-Rad asked if I wanted to make a bet on the game (being poor I don't play for money). I told him I thought that the colts would lose but it would be less then a 10 point difference.
Big freaking surprise, they WON! and Andrew Luck got me a WHOOPING 34 points!
However, Reggie Wayne tore his ACL reaching for a wonky throw by Luck and now he is out the rest of the season. I feel for Wayne because I tore my PCL playing Roller Derby and that shit sucks!
So I had like a 7 point lead going into Monday night's game, Mr. Anderson had 2 players left, I had resigned myself to losing. HOWEVER, his two players only made like 5 points and I won! (Sorry Mr. Anderson!)
Now I am even more excited for December 15th, when the Boyfriend and I are going to see the Colts.
And we are ready! (god damn, why does he look adorable in all the pictures and I look...well, ridiculous.)
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Week 6 - no I didn't beat Peyton Manning
DISAPPOINTING!
During week six, I thought for about 2 quarters of a game (for those of you who don't know a game has 4 quarters, ya know, 4 quarters make a dollar) that I (my fantasy team) was going to be Peyton Manning.
However such a situation did not occur. Instead, a situation involving rage and disappointment occurred.
Thursday night I actually got to watch football with the Boyfriend. As you most likely don't know, I am job hunting. I have a Master's degree and I work at a golf course. Times have not been easy on me this year. However, the greatest thing that has happened to me this year (OTHER THEN BECOMING AN AUNT- because that shit is amazing) was finding the most amazing boyfriend. We were coworkers while I was in Indiana, and then when I moved back to Michigan we started talking on the reg. Then after like 4 months of being really close and intimate friends we decided to date. However now he lives in North Chicagoland and I live in the D (that mean Detroit, not dicks). I got a call for a job interview in his area and got to make an impromptu trip to see him. Watching football with him is just fun and ridiculous, he like to hug and shake and be loud.
Thursday night I didn't have anyone playing but I did make a big decision after the game, I dropped Montee Ball, the disapointting rookie I played in the first week and never again, and picked up Brandon Jacobs, a running back for the New York Giants. He scored over 25 points but since I picked him up after the game I couldn't play him (and as I write this blog post he is currently questionable with a pulled Hamstring and might not play in week 8 - so sucks to be me)
So Sunday rolls around and I am feeling happy with my line up and I start to second guess myself. I take Giovanni Bernard off my starting line up (MISTAKE) start T.Y. Hilton in my flex spot (because he seems to do well every other week, so I was hoping for good things this week). B-Rad recommends playing Steve Smith, but I don't.
Everyone under preforms, EXCEPT Josh Gordon.
But Luck - 7 points
Ray Rice - 6.4 points
Jason Witten - 4 points
Just bad news all around.
But Monday night the colts were playing and I needed 3 players to score a combined 25 points and I would have won.
BUT THE COLTS LOST to the Chargers. Have you seen their logo, its dumber then the Colts logo!
Most embarrassing thing might be, I went and bought a colts shirt to wear. (The Boyfriend wanted me to borrow his Jersey and I forgot) I bought a shit to wear to the bar, I put blue eye shadow on, and they lose. LUCK HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.
THREE PEOPLE, 25 POINTS!!!! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EASY! Andrew Luck normally puts up close to 20! Wayne got 10 points up, but freaking T.Y. Hilton. You let me down again!!!
WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU!?!?!?!
This is the face of an Angry lady in the bathroom of a bar taking a selfie in ANGER.
However such a situation did not occur. Instead, a situation involving rage and disappointment occurred.
Thursday night I actually got to watch football with the Boyfriend. As you most likely don't know, I am job hunting. I have a Master's degree and I work at a golf course. Times have not been easy on me this year. However, the greatest thing that has happened to me this year (OTHER THEN BECOMING AN AUNT- because that shit is amazing) was finding the most amazing boyfriend. We were coworkers while I was in Indiana, and then when I moved back to Michigan we started talking on the reg. Then after like 4 months of being really close and intimate friends we decided to date. However now he lives in North Chicagoland and I live in the D (that mean Detroit, not dicks). I got a call for a job interview in his area and got to make an impromptu trip to see him. Watching football with him is just fun and ridiculous, he like to hug and shake and be loud.
Thursday night I didn't have anyone playing but I did make a big decision after the game, I dropped Montee Ball, the disapointting rookie I played in the first week and never again, and picked up Brandon Jacobs, a running back for the New York Giants. He scored over 25 points but since I picked him up after the game I couldn't play him (and as I write this blog post he is currently questionable with a pulled Hamstring and might not play in week 8 - so sucks to be me)
So Sunday rolls around and I am feeling happy with my line up and I start to second guess myself. I take Giovanni Bernard off my starting line up (MISTAKE) start T.Y. Hilton in my flex spot (because he seems to do well every other week, so I was hoping for good things this week). B-Rad recommends playing Steve Smith, but I don't.
Everyone under preforms, EXCEPT Josh Gordon.
But Luck - 7 points
Ray Rice - 6.4 points
Jason Witten - 4 points
Just bad news all around.
But Monday night the colts were playing and I needed 3 players to score a combined 25 points and I would have won.
BUT THE COLTS LOST to the Chargers. Have you seen their logo, its dumber then the Colts logo!
Most embarrassing thing might be, I went and bought a colts shirt to wear. (The Boyfriend wanted me to borrow his Jersey and I forgot) I bought a shit to wear to the bar, I put blue eye shadow on, and they lose. LUCK HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.
THREE PEOPLE, 25 POINTS!!!! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EASY! Andrew Luck normally puts up close to 20! Wayne got 10 points up, but freaking T.Y. Hilton. You let me down again!!!
WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU!?!?!?!
This is the face of an Angry lady in the bathroom of a bar taking a selfie in ANGER.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Personal fouls - but actually personal ones
Okay, a few weeks ago at the bar Bitter Amanda and I were talking about how fouls should relate in real life. Thus came the birth of Fouls of Dating.
(note, unlike football fouls there are no difference between offensive and defensive fouls)
(also I made these up, IN NO WAY ARE THESE ACTUALLY FOOTBALL FOULS AND THEY DON'T ALL MAKE SENSE IN RELATION TO THE GAME- there I said it)
Now these fouls would be called the same way.
"Flag on the play, (insert foul) on the Offensive (you) or Defensive (other person) side,"
For example:
Person 1: How did the date go?
Person 2: There was a flag on the play. Holding on the Defensive side.
Person 1: That's why you shouldn't give out your cell phone number
LIST OF FOULS
Encroachment - hitting on someone who is already taken.
Pass Interference - when the person you are hitting on prefers your wing-person
Holding - Clingy/overly attached/calls a lot
Face Mask - Someone who goes in for the kiss too soon!
False Start - Thinking the relationship has started before it actually has.
Horse Collar - When someone touches a lot. Arm over the shoulder, arm around the waist
-this is different from holding because a Horse Collar foul has to be physical
Delay of Game - Where a person is seemingly stalling or dragging their feet on a relationship
Offsides - hitting on a neutral or disinterested party
Roughing the passer - Hitting on someone just for the attention or a free drink
Roughing the Kicker - Drunk Dialing an ex.
Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Hitting on someone who is already taken and the offending party KNOWS it
(note, unlike football fouls there are no difference between offensive and defensive fouls)
(also I made these up, IN NO WAY ARE THESE ACTUALLY FOOTBALL FOULS AND THEY DON'T ALL MAKE SENSE IN RELATION TO THE GAME- there I said it)
Now these fouls would be called the same way.
"Flag on the play, (insert foul) on the Offensive (you) or Defensive (other person) side,"
For example:
Person 1: How did the date go?
Person 2: There was a flag on the play. Holding on the Defensive side.
Person 1: That's why you shouldn't give out your cell phone number
LIST OF FOULS
Encroachment - hitting on someone who is already taken.
Pass Interference - when the person you are hitting on prefers your wing-person
Holding - Clingy/overly attached/calls a lot
Face Mask - Someone who goes in for the kiss too soon!
False Start - Thinking the relationship has started before it actually has.
Horse Collar - When someone touches a lot. Arm over the shoulder, arm around the waist
-this is different from holding because a Horse Collar foul has to be physical
Delay of Game - Where a person is seemingly stalling or dragging their feet on a relationship
Offsides - hitting on a neutral or disinterested party
Roughing the passer - Hitting on someone just for the attention or a free drink
Roughing the Kicker - Drunk Dialing an ex.
Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Hitting on someone who is already taken and the offending party KNOWS it
Also here are more hand signals
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