Personal fouls - but actually personal ones

Okay, a few weeks ago at the bar Bitter Amanda and I were talking about how fouls should relate in real life. Thus came the birth of Fouls of Dating.

(note, unlike football fouls there are no difference between offensive and defensive fouls)

(also I made these up, IN NO WAY ARE THESE ACTUALLY FOOTBALL FOULS AND THEY DON'T ALL MAKE SENSE IN RELATION TO THE GAME- there I said it)

Now these fouls would be called the same way.

"Flag on the play, (insert foul) on the Offensive (you) or Defensive (other person) side,"

For example:
Person 1: How did the date go?
Person 2: There was a flag on the play. Holding on the Defensive side.
Person 1: That's why you shouldn't give out your cell phone number


LIST OF FOULS

Encroachment - hitting on someone who is already taken.

Pass Interference - when the person you are hitting on prefers your wing-person

Holding - Clingy/overly attached/calls a lot

Face Mask - Someone who goes in for the kiss too soon!

False Start - Thinking the relationship has started before it actually has.

Horse Collar - When someone touches a lot. Arm over the shoulder, arm around the waist
-this is different from holding because a Horse Collar foul has to be physical

Delay of Game - Where a person is seemingly stalling or dragging their feet on a relationship

Offsides - hitting on a neutral or disinterested party

Roughing the passer - Hitting on someone just for the attention or a free drink

Roughing the Kicker - Drunk Dialing an ex.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Hitting on someone who is already taken and the offending party KNOWS it

Also here are more hand signals

How to talk football - Part 1

Last Monday as I my heart broke from Fantasy Football, I sat in the bar with my friends and boyfriend watching the game.

Monday nights are a special night for my social group because traditionally its has been dollar beer night. Since our regular bar became condemned, we have become Monday Night Nomadic Travelers, seeking out dive bars, looking for cheap beer and of course, football.

well about half of us are looking for football. My friend Bitter Amanda (and fellow blogger) isn't really a football fan. However I want her to join the women's league I am planning on forming next season. So any pointless football knowledge I find online (football fashion) I send to her. She adds her own things too

However last Monday. We came up with the very very best question for someone who isn't into football to ask during a game, and that question is "Is there a flag on the play?"

It works in almost all situations.

Situation one:
Everyone watching football around you cheers! Something good happens! You respond with a tentative "is there a flag on the play?" If there isn't - that's good news! How smart of you to check! If there is - hope its for the other team, but if not, at least you were smart enough to check before getting too excited.

Situation two:
Everyone watching football gets upset. Something bad has happened! You respond with an upset "is there a flag on the play?" If there isn't - that's upsetting, you were just being hopeful. If there is - good for you for being so perceptive, that other team must have done something wrong while upsetting your friends/family.

Situation three:
The people you are around just happen to have the game on TV. But no one is really giving it 100% attention. You offhandedly ask "Was there a flag on the play?" If there is - it doesn't really matter. If there isn't - Once again it doesn't really matter.

After awhile, you can up the details to your question.

For example "Was there a flag on the play? I bet it was a personal foul" Don't know what a personal foul is? That's okay. Neither do I, but I still ask.

Was there a flag on the play?
Yes
Is that a personal foul?
Yes, yes it is Tom Brady