How to talk football - Part 1

Last Monday as I my heart broke from Fantasy Football, I sat in the bar with my friends and boyfriend watching the game.

Monday nights are a special night for my social group because traditionally its has been dollar beer night. Since our regular bar became condemned, we have become Monday Night Nomadic Travelers, seeking out dive bars, looking for cheap beer and of course, football.

well about half of us are looking for football. My friend Bitter Amanda (and fellow blogger) isn't really a football fan. However I want her to join the women's league I am planning on forming next season. So any pointless football knowledge I find online (football fashion) I send to her. She adds her own things too

However last Monday. We came up with the very very best question for someone who isn't into football to ask during a game, and that question is "Is there a flag on the play?"

It works in almost all situations.

Situation one:
Everyone watching football around you cheers! Something good happens! You respond with a tentative "is there a flag on the play?" If there isn't - that's good news! How smart of you to check! If there is - hope its for the other team, but if not, at least you were smart enough to check before getting too excited.

Situation two:
Everyone watching football gets upset. Something bad has happened! You respond with an upset "is there a flag on the play?" If there isn't - that's upsetting, you were just being hopeful. If there is - good for you for being so perceptive, that other team must have done something wrong while upsetting your friends/family.

Situation three:
The people you are around just happen to have the game on TV. But no one is really giving it 100% attention. You offhandedly ask "Was there a flag on the play?" If there is - it doesn't really matter. If there isn't - Once again it doesn't really matter.

After awhile, you can up the details to your question.

For example "Was there a flag on the play? I bet it was a personal foul" Don't know what a personal foul is? That's okay. Neither do I, but I still ask.

Was there a flag on the play?
Yes
Is that a personal foul?
Yes, yes it is Tom Brady

Week Three: Just a bit too busy for football..

This week for Fantasy Football was a bit hectic.
Thursday night was my friend's bachlorette party. We got crazy in Detroit and got to watch very little of the game as we were bar hopping.
Friday was the rehearsal and dinner.
Saturday was the Wedding. It was beautiful. My handsome boyfriend was in town to enjoy it with me. We danced, the wedding was lovely and my friend Tricia was stunningly beautiful.
Sunday my boyfriend and I got to snuggle and watch football together. Something we never get to do since we rarely get to spend weekends together.

Then MONDAY I GOT ROBBED!!

I actually feel like Tyra Banks right now.

BE QUIET, FANTASY FOOTBALL! BE QUIET! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? STOP IT. I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM LIKE THIS!!! WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME! I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOUR! HOW DARE YOU? LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS!

I lost. AGAIN but this time by .04 of a point. .04!!!!!

Final scores were 98.26 to 98.30. Yahoo later adjusted my score down (for some reason I haven't figured out yet) to 97.58

I lost by 4 yards. FOUR FREAKING YARDS.

Then my Defense had some CRAZY SHIT happen to it.

So my defense is Cincinnati. They scored 18 points, then I looked back and they had 12 points. Mr. Anderson explained to me that the Cincinnati defense intercepted the ball. Then fumbled, recovered and then scored a touch down. The NFL and Yahoo were determining how those points would be rewarded. I guess after Cincinnati fumbled and then recovered it was no longer considered the defense playing but the offense?

I also made the mistake of not playing Josh Gordon. I picked him up early but he was still suspended for the first two games of the season. (he had codine in his system after a drug test). Instead I played Steve Smith and Reggie Wayne (who collectively scored just under 14 points). T.Y. Hilton scored a whopping 2.3 points.

I guess the colts are changing their offensive strategy from a passing to a running game. I don't actually know what that means but its messing with my points and I want it to stop!!!!